Of similes and metaphors.

As cold as a cucumber... like an animal... all the world's a stage...

Of course you studied the figures of speech in English grammar class and you know what a simile and a metaphor is. And no, I do not intend to take a grammar class here. What I mean by using these figures of speech is 'comparison'.

Comparing words or things in literary works is fine. But I think comparing two persons should be a crime. Every individual has his/ her own identity. They are unique. So, who has given us the right to draw comparisons between them?

I came across this featured article on Yahoo! India.

East-West, cricket-football, IPL-EPL, Beckham and #8230; Dhoni? Football clubs in Europe are synonymous with some of their most celebrated players. And now that India has its own IPL, the comparisons are natural.

Which cricketers will become synonymous with their team, and who shares traits with our pick of popular footballers? DAVID BECKHAM = MS DHONI Beckham rocks. He's flamboyant, changes his look, especially his hairstyles, regularly, and his contract with Los Angeles Galaxy broke all records of salaries given to any player on the team.

He finds a perfect match in Mahendra Singh Dhoni, captain of the Chennai team. Dhoni was the most expensive player at IPL (auctioned at $1,500,000).

He's got style and sex appeal and he changes his hairstyle often too. Both are fashion icons.

Christian Vieri = Yuvraj Singh The Italian striker who plays for ACF Fiorentina has a lethal combination of attitude, talent and good looks. He's been in a string of high-profile relationships, which makes him a perfect match for Yuvraj Singh, who has dated many a Bollywood beauty.

Combine the Bollywood magnetism (sic) with a hot body and aggressive demeanour, the Mohali man rocks both on and off the field. Cristiano Ronaldo = Irfan Pathan With his curly hair and dimpled smile, Irfan Pathan can best be compared to Cristiano Ronaldo of Manchester United, football's perfect pin-up poster boy.

Both have the looks that drive girls crazy as well as the magic touch with the ball, making them potent adversaries on field. ALESSANDRO DEL PIERO = RAHUL DRAVID Rahul Dravid's calm, composed demeanour matches that of Alessandro del Piero of Juventus.

Both del Piero and Dravid have been praised for their gentlemanly conduct on the field. More importantly, both are masters of their game.
(Also check this blog post: Blasphemy !)

Makes any sense? If yes, then I'm a numskull.

Comparing people is not just limited to celebrities. We have been compared with others in our own lives too. Comparison drawn with respect to our grades in school, mannerisms, looks, tastes & preferences, success in profession, relationships... and sky is the limit for this list.

What is the outcome of this irrational act of drawing inferences by comparing two or more non-similar entities? The one who compares alone knows.

Next time, before to sit and use your similes and metaphors, just imagine yourself being compared to Paris Hilton. If it is alright with you, then go ahead with your silly comparisons.

A Shark Tail.

Being the one who 'wanted' a fish tank, the task of cleaning it is solely my responsibility. I've currently got four fishes in my tank. One Kisser Fish, a pair of Sharks and a 'Sucker fish'. Yesterday, when I was cleaning my fish tank, I remembered an incident that had occurred last month.

Morning at 9, I put food for the fishes. I just moved away from the tank and I heard a thumping sound on the roof of the tank. Was the shark was jumping and hitting the roof, I wondered. I peered through the glass tank but could not see one of the sharks. I at once opened the lid on the roof and was prepared to catch hold of it incase it leapt out.

However, the shark was not jumping but it was stuck in the ring meant for holding a light bulb and was struggling there hitting the roof with its tail. Though I did panic for a second, I had to rescue it. I tried pulling it out gently, since it must not be hurt in the process. But my shark, instead of co-operating with me went on pushing itself more further into the ring.

I thought it was no use now pulling it in the opposite direction since it had pushed the fins on the other side too. Thus, I began pushing it. A couple of minutes and alas, to my relief, it was back in the water again! And there it swam like nothing ever happened.

I immediately got rid of the unused ring in order to avoid furthermore circus perils in future. Where did it learn the trick from? It seemed like a 'Free Willy' scene gone wrong. (No, the whale never tried jumping through a ring, so didn't get stuck in it.)

Six years of owning a fish tank with numerous fishes in and numerous out, those few minutes of rescue nearly had my heart in my mouth. Having a pet is like nurturing a kid. But you can't punish fishes for their mischiefs.

Strange encounters of the same kind- Part II

This incident occurred when I was doing my PG from K.C college at Churchgate.

My lecture got over at 8:00 PM and I had a train at 8:45 from VT. I used to take my own time and walk all the way from KC to VT instead of taking a cab or bus to avoid waiting at the crowded platform for some more time. But try as I may, I used to reach the platform by 8:20. And standing on VT platform is the worst part. People stare at you like you are an alien. I stand there below the indicator wondering which platform the train would arrive at. Suddenly a guy came and said 'hi!' I took a step back and looked at my either sides trying to figure out whom he is talking to. Yet he looked at me and asks, "Mind if I stand next to you? You see, my friends there (points in some direction and I don't bother to gaze in that direction) asked me to stand next to you as a dare."
Me: So?
He: If you don't mind, can I stand here for just 5 mins?
Me: Alright. (As though I own the place and he seeks permission just to stand next to me.)
He: Thanks.
I just smiled and looked ahead.
He: How can we just stand like this? Can we talk?
Me: *blinked my eyes* Talk?
He: Yeah. My name is ... (I don't remember.) You are? Its okay, you can give any fake answers.
Me: I'm Shruthi.
He: So Shruthi, are you from Xaviers?
I nod.
He: TYBA huh?
Me: Yes.
He: Prepared for exams? Did you join any coaching classes?
Me: (Confidently) No.
He: Oh! You should've had. Its very difficult. You'll have problems with... blah... blah... blah...
Me: Listen. Thanks for the advice. But I'm not in TY. It was all fluke, like you suggested.
His face was flushed. He looked at me in sheer disbelief.
He: Oh! Okay... 5 mins are up. Thanks Shruthi.
He shook hands and walked away... I don't know where to.

What was he expecting me to do? Spill out my whole life in front of him? Someone whom I hardly even know.

Giving it a second thought... may be I would, if he were wearing an Axe deo! The Axe effect, you see. :P

Strange encounters of the same kind - Part I

This happened when I was in school, may be in class 8th or 9th.

I was walking along with my sister on the street. We saw a van with a little buzz around it. On a closer look we saw it was from ZEE TV. And there were few people in uniform who were questioning the passersby.

A girl and a guy approached us. They asked us whether we watch a show called 'Jeena Isika Naam Hai'. And we said 'No'.
Then they explained that celebrities come on this show and... well, they said something about it. They told us Laloo Prasad Yadav is going to be their next guest. So they will ask us something about him and if we answer, we get a gift. Okay. So the question they asked was "Laloo kis ghotala se jude hain?" [What scam is Laloo associated with?]

My sister immediately replied, " Fodder scam."
They looked puzzled, "Nahi. Ek aur try?"
Me : Fodder scam right answer hain.
They : Thank you. Par yeh wrong answer hain.
We : Okay.
And they left. We took a few steps ahead and we met my friend. She was very happy. Holding a cap she said, " Look what I won."
Me : Okay. So, you answered the question correctly and you won a 'Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai' cap! So, what was the answer?
She : Chara Ghotala. [Fodder Scam!]
Me : Chara Ghotala? Thats what we said! They should've mentioned if the answer was supposed to be only in Hindi.

All this just for a cap. Who wants it anyway?

New ads on the block.

'Happy Birthday!' How happy your birthday would be if you had it the 'Axe' way. As usual Axe ads are one of a kind and always smart. Guys would love it if it actually worked and what a b'day present it could be. But fortunately, it doesn't. :P

The Virgin Mobile ads make you sit up and take notice. Be it the girl revealing to her parents about no interest in guys or the traffic cop & papa one or even the Foxxy one, it surely creates a good brand recall and even has got potential customers interested in the product. Seriously, Think Hatke.

It was a pleasant surprise to see Baichung Bhutia in the new 'Nike' commercial. Tired of watching cricketers, Sania, etc. in each and every ad. Someone is paying attention to Indian football and it is getting a new turf, literally.

Here is the worst of all! Amul Macho sequel takes the cake. The man's brief fits the orangutan to a tee! (It was merely an observation and you may crack up if you wish.) Lousy ad :| It does hit you right between the eyes, but I find it an eyesore.

I've got a weak memory. I sat down to write this post and all I could remember are these recent ads. May be I should listen to V. Anand and try Memory Plus. What say?