Of similes and metaphors.

As cold as a cucumber... like an animal... all the world's a stage...

Of course you studied the figures of speech in English grammar class and you know what a simile and a metaphor is. And no, I do not intend to take a grammar class here. What I mean by using these figures of speech is 'comparison'.

Comparing words or things in literary works is fine. But I think comparing two persons should be a crime. Every individual has his/ her own identity. They are unique. So, who has given us the right to draw comparisons between them?

I came across this featured article on Yahoo! India.

East-West, cricket-football, IPL-EPL, Beckham and #8230; Dhoni? Football clubs in Europe are synonymous with some of their most celebrated players. And now that India has its own IPL, the comparisons are natural.

Which cricketers will become synonymous with their team, and who shares traits with our pick of popular footballers? DAVID BECKHAM = MS DHONI Beckham rocks. He's flamboyant, changes his look, especially his hairstyles, regularly, and his contract with Los Angeles Galaxy broke all records of salaries given to any player on the team.

He finds a perfect match in Mahendra Singh Dhoni, captain of the Chennai team. Dhoni was the most expensive player at IPL (auctioned at $1,500,000).

He's got style and sex appeal and he changes his hairstyle often too. Both are fashion icons.

Christian Vieri = Yuvraj Singh The Italian striker who plays for ACF Fiorentina has a lethal combination of attitude, talent and good looks. He's been in a string of high-profile relationships, which makes him a perfect match for Yuvraj Singh, who has dated many a Bollywood beauty.

Combine the Bollywood magnetism (sic) with a hot body and aggressive demeanour, the Mohali man rocks both on and off the field. Cristiano Ronaldo = Irfan Pathan With his curly hair and dimpled smile, Irfan Pathan can best be compared to Cristiano Ronaldo of Manchester United, football's perfect pin-up poster boy.

Both have the looks that drive girls crazy as well as the magic touch with the ball, making them potent adversaries on field. ALESSANDRO DEL PIERO = RAHUL DRAVID Rahul Dravid's calm, composed demeanour matches that of Alessandro del Piero of Juventus.

Both del Piero and Dravid have been praised for their gentlemanly conduct on the field. More importantly, both are masters of their game.
(Also check this blog post: Blasphemy !)

Makes any sense? If yes, then I'm a numskull.

Comparing people is not just limited to celebrities. We have been compared with others in our own lives too. Comparison drawn with respect to our grades in school, mannerisms, looks, tastes & preferences, success in profession, relationships... and sky is the limit for this list.

What is the outcome of this irrational act of drawing inferences by comparing two or more non-similar entities? The one who compares alone knows.

Next time, before to sit and use your similes and metaphors, just imagine yourself being compared to Paris Hilton. If it is alright with you, then go ahead with your silly comparisons.